The lonely world of mine

Monday, August 21, 2006

2006-08-21T07:12:00.000-07:00

Why is my life so different from others? Why can't i be normal person to have friends in school? I am so confuse!! Is there anyone can help me in this world?
There something deep in my heart which i don't want to do it, but why can't i stop myself? Why everytime i have to felt repents? I know i will be a better person, whom life is feel with lots lots lots of colours, if i able to control myself. Everytime there seem to be a war inside me and this made me feel very very tired. Am i suffering from depression or what? I really wanted to move on with my life. But how? Who can help me? Is there really anyone can help me?

I seem to be fallen into a deep well or lost in a deep forest, where i totaly felt helpless and lonely. Can i really climb out of this well or get out of this forest? Can i?

I am seriously exhausted...

My believe on them

2006-08-02T03:38:00.000-07:00

I believe Farah and Diyana are not that kind of person. I trust them they will not do such a thing. They are very confident in what they do and always believe in what they do were right. Farah and Diyana you will have my support, not to care what others felt.

This is my stand.
They are my wonderful students.
They are innocent.
They are loved by me and the class.
They are cherished.
They are part of E3 Gang.
They will not be facing these cowards alone.
They are never alone because this family stands with them.

Happiness

2006-04-08T04:15:00.000-07:00

Happiness

Happiness is a feeling that everyone would hope to have it everyday. I believe that everyone will feel happiness but not really everyone. People like me, happiness will never fall on me, not when my both parents were busied with their works and neglected about my feeling. Even my daily life was prepared by my nanny hired by my parents when I were just seven years-old.
It was about three years ago where me and my parents went out together as a whole family. Remembered clearly when I was seven my mother was a housewife and my father was a accountant, we lead a very happy life till one day. It was the ninth of May, three years ago. That day I was watching the television when the phone rang. “Ring Ring……” I picked up the phone “May I know who are you looking for ?” “Mum is your phone call.” So I went back to watch my television. Minutes later I heard “Jim I got a piece of good news for you I just found a job. My friends wanted me to go to her company and help her out. And my father had also just been promoted and had a rise in his pay, from four thousand to 7 thousand dollar.”
I was totally caught surprised, at first I find it a good news as now our difficulty in financial problem had been solved, able to have a very luxurious life.
But gradually I regretted not to persuade my mother not to work as since that day onI hardly even have a chance to talk to them. They were just so busied with their works. I tried many times telling them that I really need them to accompany me but they both replied the same thing “ We will try to find more time to accompany you I promise and I am very sorry.” They were just making empty promised, gradually I hardly see them everyday. They hired a nanny to look after my daily needs. From that day on my parents came back home late in the midnight by then I had already slept and prepared for the same old days.
Three years had passed. One day my math teacher, Madam Lim, found me crying after school alone at the back of the classroom. She asked me what wrong and why am I crying. I did not bother to tell her what happen. At that point in time my heart was so painful as if there were thousands of needles poking through it. I asked her to get away and leave me alone but she insisted staying with me. Her concern about me make me felt even more heart ripping, even a teacher care about how i felt, but my closer members in the whole world did not care about me.I cannot believe that I actually told her that my parents neglected me. She told me to stop crying and brought me to the office. I sobbed. She called my parents and told her what happened. They rushed to school and console me. Since that day my mother quitted her job and spent time with me at home, for my father he continued to work but find time to bring us out.
smile spreaded across my face. I truly felt thankful for my math teacher , Madam Lim, because of her I found happiness in my life.

[Assignment by Mr Jae]

Tears

2006-03-08T00:36:00.000-08:00

Deep in my heart I remember clearly about the tragedy that happened a year back ago, looking at the photo back then. Exactly last year of today my colleagues and I went out to have a drink, we went to celebrate for my new promotion. That day was really very fun we all went to the bar and has a drink, when we reached there it been so wild, the people there were all enjoying themselves. We managed to find a place and settle down, we ordered ‘tiger’ beer and were complaining about the amount of works needed to finish by today. I felt really elated for my promotion. When we were drinking half-way my phone rang… … it was my wife. She told me not to drink to much as I still need to drive home, she started to nag at me and because of that we had a quarrel. In a fit of anger I hung up and even order more beer. Soon I was drunk and start to lose my consciousness I start to get more violence all my friends asked me not to continue to drink, but, to no avail. I just wouldn't listen. Instead I scolded than for being a busybody. I don’t need their care they just wanted to get closer to me as I just got my promotion, I thought. They decided to leave me alone, before they actually went back they advised me not to drive back home and instead hire a cab. “Shut your mouths up are you trying to curse me! Get lost.”

Time flew pass and it was 12 am in the midnight. I was chased out by the owner. I waited for so long and not even a sight of a cab can be seen, so I decided to drive back home. Feeling half-conscious, suddenly out of nowhere a four-wheeled truck appeared.Within seconds, my life was ruined, my future and dreams were dashed. When i wake up two days had already passed. Feeling weird I cannot feel anything bottom- half of my body. I was astonished to find out that one of my legs was amputated. That accident had caused me to lose one of my leg! Over the year no ever come and visit me. And now no matter where I go I need to use the wheelchair. As a result of the incident I lost my job and all my friends and even my wife had chosen to leave me. Every time I recalled about what had happened. Tears. I regretted not to heed the advice of my friends around me.

Now i had lost my job and had lead a miserable life.

Flight

2006-03-02T18:20:00.000-08:00

To all passengers please take note, please aboard the plane to Korea by 2 am. Take note please aboard the plane to Korea by 2am. I am leaving this place with my family! We were having our small supper in a cafe in the airport, we heard the announcement and stood up with our luggage. Thinking back I had actually been looking towards for this day, the first trip overseas as my parents were contented with my result.

Singapore Airlines Flight SQ 006. I hope everyone remember this incident which happened a few years back. SIA really suffers great loss.
Planes was such a wonderful thing, it can defy the force which bring us close to the Earth's surface, bringing us up above the sky. I really admire the Wight brothers who make the first plane and because of them people then believe that human can soar beautifully in the sky like the birds. Due to their daring experience they had given a chance for human like us to explore the whole world. If without them human might be still thinking of ways in order to fly up to the sky.

Back to my story. We had our passport checked, check for departure time, the gate number and the flight information. Finally we had aboard the plane feeling a bit nervous as this my first plane trip I just could not get my butt sat on the chair. Finally an announcement was heard… To all passengers welcome aboard to the Singapore airline please faster your seatbelt as the plane was about to depart. Hope you will have a wonderful 8 hours flight with us. Thank you.

I exchanged seat with my mother as her sit was beside the window. Suddenly my ear felt very uncomfortable, my mother told me that that was due to the air pressure as the plane was going against the gravity.Soon the plane was in the middle of the sky, looking down everything seen to be so small.....

SONG

2006-02-15T19:34:00.000-08:00

Whenever i was feeling sad or nothing better to do i will on some music to relax myself down. Music can have many different some people love listening to opera some people love listening to rock or pop music which over the time it can bring harm to our ear drum. For people who are very emotional, they love listening to saddening song but for me I enjoy listening to song that can make me relax but definitely not opera. Most of the time I enjoy listening to Chinese song. For the olden Chinese people song can be considered as a poem.

Sometime the lyrics of some song can be very meaningful it can be about a romantic love story or a sad story. some composers make use of their lyrics to express themself or things that happen around them.

Sometime when we are writing a composition we can make use the words music to describe a person feeling or even describing a object, like the bird is singing a beautiful piece of song in its cage.

I believe that music is a wonderful thing on earth because it can make person spent money just to buy it favorite song. But it can be a bad thing as now a day teenager can spent up to thousand just to buy anything related to their idol. For example I had a friend whom spent up to nearly two thousand plus just to purchase her idol's latest music, postal and even their daily belonging.

gracious

2006-01-26T17:56:00.000-08:00

Gracious is a word which make people think of kindness and warm courtesy, characterized by charm, good taste, and generosity of spirit Example "Gracious even to unexpected visitors". It can also describe a person gracious living. It can also be replaced by 'beneficent' 'benevolent' 'courteous' 'elegant' 'good' 'graceful' ' merciful' having or showing or arising from a desire to promote the welfare or happiness of others. Another definition of gracious is disposed to bestow favors, example: "thank to the gracious god."

For me i try to be gracious by saying "please" "thank you" and "you welcome" i don't believe that in this world there can be such a person, everyone will have their bad altitude or bad way. It just that we did not notice it. For example i had a primary school friend whom i looked up to as he was very nice to everyone, but one day after school i saw him messed around with a group of friend smoking under a voideck.

Grace, mercy. These words, though often interchanged, have each a distinctive and peculiar meaning. Grace, in the strict sense of the term, is spontaneous favor to the guilty or undeserving; mercy is kindness or compassion to the suffering or condemned. It was the grace of God that opened a way for the exercise of mercy toward men.

When you help a person you can be describe as a gracious person. "Graciousness" means excellence of manners or social conduct, the quality of being kind and gentle. The opposite of gracious is "ungracious" lacking social grace or graciousness, not welcome or acceptable unattractive, evil wicked. 'An ungracious person'.

Being gracious is quite difficult unless you are willing to help out as much as you can, without any terms or condition without any thoughts of the person will repay you. Being praise as gracious can be such a wonderful thing you will feel the joy of being praised.

The word ungracious can be use as a weapon to insult or even scold a person when he or she was having a wicked heart or had done something wrong.

Although being a gracious person is very hard but I strongly believe if with our strong believe to do it or even try it we can manage to become a gracious person which is such a wonderful thing on Earth.

The day...

2006-01-26T06:15:00.002-08:00

Today had been a verii tired dae for me... Study for the whole dae after sch stll got bio! OMG... I wanted to play badminton todae wif my frien but becos of bio i did not manage to enjoy myself... But there something to be happy about at least one and tt is tomorrow is CNY(chinese new year) yeah got ang bao take le... Sad still need study for the ting sei haix

TO ALL PPL HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR YEPEE! MAY U GET AS MANY ANG BAO AS U CAN!

Tt all for todae too tired to continue... got to go sleep liao cya all nitez!!!

Yeah 9 more to go!!

Orange!

2006-01-12T18:10:00.000-08:00

Orange a globose berry with a yellowish to reddish orange rind and a sweet edible pulp, orange is a nice colour it make a person feel happy when he or she was feeling moody. When peoples think of this word it will make them think of orange which is rich in vitamins. Althought orange colour can make a person look young and happy but this colour is very striking it attract other people attention. Orange also symbolise the sun as it the colour of the sun's ray. Mandarin orange is also one of a type of fruit which we gave when we visit our relative, it also symbolise our chinese new year which is one of the festival for the chinese. It also can be use to throw at people on their birthday, it also a farvourite fruit i use to ask my mum to buy when i was young as i think orange was a nice colour and it is so sweet!

It also make people think of a animal that can be found in zoo, and that is the orang putan.

'O'R'A'N'G'E' what a nice word to be use!!!!!!!